Life...Unscripted

Living to Live.

2011-08-05T17:35:00.002-04:00

Again, I come back when the mood generally strikes me.

This afternoon, I played the dutiful and good son and drove my mother around because she wanted to go shopping. In the car ride, we had a conversation about growing up. My brother turns 30 in about a week, which, in some ways really scares me. He's married, has a beautiful daughter (that is my world too), and seems to really have his shit together. With Patrick's imminent departure to 30, I started to analyze my life yet again.

While I was thinking about this, I sat and read a blog that I follow from a guy that's really garnered acceptance with who he is, and is trying to be the best person that he can be, in light of a litany of issues. From depression, acceptance, and really loving himself for who he is. Regardless of his self esteem issues, its amazing to read his story every so often, and realize that life isn't just about finding the right person to share your life with, making tons of money, etc. It comes down to being yourself, and loving who you are. From there, the sky seems to be the limit. Sean, if you read this, thank you. You may not believe it, but you are an inspiration to a lot pf people out there. Keep doing what you do and you'll find the happiness and understanding which you are seeking.

The last few weeks, I've been a busy guy, from the Fair, and all kinds of other little projects running around, but I've actually been having fun. Living life for me, isn't so bad. Its amazing that a positive mind set, and doing it because you want to, not because you have to makes all the difference in the world.

Busy weekend ahead, PHL at 0615 for a pickup of a great friend, drinks tomorrow night with some old friends, brunch with the family on Sunday, then some meetings. All in all, life is good.

Til the next time something comes to mind...

anddddddddd I'm out.

--Matt

Some day, when my life has passed me by...

2011-06-12T23:02:00.002-04:00

So, I've decided to come back to my blog, after another lovely year away. Lots has changed in the past year, but as usual, much has remained the same.

I'm still working in the same place, despising getting up every morning to go into the office and deal with the same bs. Still volunteering at the same places, doing the same stuff. In most...check that, all aspects of my life, things are still the exact same as they were, save the fact that I'm a year older.

I've had some great experiences in interviewing for some fantastic job opportunities. I'm very thankful to know that my qualifications and skills (at least on paper) were enough to get an interview, but again, not good enough for the job.

My friends keep telling me to leave where I'm at, and lets face it, I'd love to. I just can't make a blind leap of faith without some plan of where I am headed. I really do need to make some change in my life, and I just don't know where to begin. I keep racking my brain of placed to apply, to get out of my biggest stressor, and I keep falling flat on my face.

I've even had multiple friends and acquaintances recommend me for position, and that got me an interview, yet I continually question, if I am cut out for anything in this world. I feel as if I'm a jack of all trades, master of none; in this world, it seems that you need to be a master of something in order to move forward develop in your career.

Sigh. Any suggestions? I've got a useless BA in History, and I need to do SOMETHING...

Tyrrany of the Majority

2010-08-04T21:14:00.003-04:00

Ah yes, Democtacy in America. Those of you familiar with deTocqueville's narrative on the American political society would tend to understand where this comes from. Since about 4pm today, I have been intently reading Chief Judge Vaughn Walker's opinion on the Perry v. Schwartzenegger case. While may proponents can summarily extract that the plaintiffs were denied their fundamental protections of the US Constitution, I fear there is more unseen than seen.

Tonight's famed Yahoo! Political Theorists Dumb and Dumber theorized on the levels of voting meaning nothing. While voting DOES mean something, there are some eccentricies in the American Political System that tend to trump the one man, one vote card. Unless you're living under a rock, the electoral college and a constitutional convention can quite easily triumph over absurdity.

I have grave concerns over this ruling, not because it tends to favor something I believe to be a fundamental right, but more because I have deep concerns over the future it holds. This will simply not stand alone, it will be challenged in the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals, most likely being upheld in the longstanding most Liberal Appeals Court in the Nation. What concerns me, is the Roberts Court. While CJ Roberts tends to be much more moderate and soft spoken opposed to his more famously draconian counterparts J Scalia and J Thomas, I stand firm in my belief that this will eventually be overturned on a 5-4 majority by the Supreme Court.

Psuedo back on topic: deTocqueville looked at the tyanny of the masses, specifically in terms of population. We have long debated on the merits of one person, one vote; the rule of law and proportional representation. In essence, the United States been founded on championing the rights of teh little guy. From the time of our founding, in 1776, we were fighting as the little guy. We fought for emanicipation, we fought for womens suffrage, civil rights, the right to make the choices that affect ourselves. Americans have fought for these rights. Yet now, a theocratic and at times, ridiculous display against the fundamental right of marriage is seemingly for naught.

I welcome debate and commentary on this, as it seems to be the most effective outlet for understanding additional viewpoints. However, I will not tolerate religious or hate-filled/mongering responses. This is for educated people, discussing an educated thread. Leave the playground on the playground.

Cheers-

M

Why was Hitler so power-hungry?

2010-05-27T20:11:00.002-04:00

One of my co-workers has a very curious son, particularly relating the the Holocaust, Nazism and other WWII Related things. Knowing that I have a relatively worthless BA in History, she asked me if I would be willing to answer the questions that he has. Seeing as how, before tonight, I haven't updated in a while, and I'm bored, I'll answer one of his many questions here tonight, with more to follow.

Why was Hitler so power-hungry?

The first thing to consider, is Hitler himself. Austrian Born, with an immense sense of German Pride. You must remember that to many Europeans, pride for your ethnicity is much stronger than the pride for your country. Here, we are all Americans, sure there are sects of every ethnicity in the world here, but we tend to show our westernized American pride more than our ethnic pride. Hitler had served in the German Army during World War I, served valiantly, and was willing to fight on their behalf.

Hitler was not always the most conforming person in the world. After his failed Beer Hall Putsch, he was jailed, where while incarcerated, he wrote his acclaimed work "Mein Kampf", literally translated, "My Struggle". He highlighted the failures of the German state in the events leading up to, during and immediately following World War I. Particularly faced with massive amounts of restitution required by the opposing forces following WWI, the German State was nearly bankrupt. This led to colossal fears from the German people.

Hitler was able to capitalize on these fears and started to make a name for himself in the German Political realm, consistantly opposing the Weimar Government. Shortly after the Stock Market Crash of 1929, worldwide economic collapse ensued. Hitler, through his affable and charismatic speaking style, won the hearts of the German People. For a lot of reasons, that I won't get into, Hitler was able to assume power after the death of President von Hindenberg, and the rest, in theory, is well, history.

So, as for the original question, why was Hitler so power-hungry?

Hitler wanted to prepate a perfect German state. Aryans would dominate, this is generally accepted as a delisional schizophrenic dream, but it was Hitler's mission. He allowed his pride for the Germanic race to overcome reality. His pride was seriously damaged after the Treaty of Versailles, the repercussions of this treaty damaged the German state and its financial affairs. A man can heal from physical wounds, but once his pride is damaged, it becomes personal. Adolf Hitler personified this to the nth degree.

Power-hungry, perhaps, sociopathic, absolutely, neurotic, most definitely. Yet the rationality of this defies all logic. It can be summarized very simply; he was Hitler.

DADT?

2010-05-27T19:40:00.002-04:00

I've watched with some comical amusement over the last few weeks, and the media coverage of the Dont Ask Don't Tell Debate within the Pentagon, the Congress, and beyond.

This is a slightly irritating debate, as it becomes a theological/moral debate, laden with slur and innuendo. As barack Obama recently found out, its the extremists on both sides of the debate that seem to be the proverbial "sqeaky wheel".

Frankly (no correlation to Rep. Barney Frank, btw), who cares? The United States is the only superopower that doesn't allow gays and lesbians to openly serve. The Pentagon has been "studying" the issue for the past year, and has failed to come up with any foregone conclusions. Perhaps one of the most interesting things in this debate isn't being said.

Since the "War on Terror" began, we have had our men and women serving alongside teh British Troops, the Isreali troops, the Austrailians, and numerous other developed civilized nations. They have had gays and lesbians on the battlefield, on the front lines with our troops. Does the continental divide seem to ellicit rampant homophobio?

I've researched the issue, I've read the policy statements. I find this policy to be absolutely riduculous. If men and women are willing to fight to defend our country, and Constitution, are willing to lay down their lives for the protection of you and I, who cares what they do behind closed doors? We've had much worse come through the military (cough*Benedict Arnold*cough), how much worse could it get?

The debate needs to end, while the brass and the Capital Hill leeches debate the issue, they need to put their own prejudices away. This is a democracy, not a theocracy.

Viva le resistance!

Cheers-
Matt

Didn't take long for this one...

2009-07-09T04:05:00.002-04:00

Earlier today, the Commonwealth of Massachusetts filed a lawsuit against the United Stated Government on the Constitutionality of The Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA). Historically speaking, marriage has been defined as between one man and one woman. The federal government grants over 200 separate privileges to married couples, from real estate and property rights, healthcare decision making, tax breaks and other similar benefits. Massachusetts is the first to file suit contesting the constitutionality of DOMA. I predicted this would happen shortly after California's Prop 8 decision.

In contemporary times, we have seen a harsh battle between the Religious Right and the Liberal Left on the issue of gay marriage. Leviticus vs 1 Corinthians 13. How can a book so disputed and yes, controversial be actually used in thie debate? Yes, I am aware that God "created" Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve. We are bringing religious bias into a question of equal or not. Now, DOMA does not provide for a religious interpretation, not does it use any type of religious citation in its text. This is not and cannot be approached as a Religious Freedoms/Separation of Church and State question. This must be viewed in a context of Equal Protection.

As section 1 of the Fourteenth Amendment to the US Constitution states "All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside. No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws." Many of you could argue that this does not deprive life, liberty or property. It's just marriage...is it not? What's next? As some comments on Yahoo's discussion boards tonight have suggested, gays should be killed, gays should stop protesting, gays should never be teachers. Come on folks! This are real people, just like you and me. To deny them any rights on the basis of their sexual orientation is just wrong. The way I see it, either abolish all tax breaks and legal rights for married couples, or recognize and ALLOW gay marriage to happen.

Going along the logic of my fire and brimstone counterparts, I guess all of the antiabortion protesters need to stop "pushing their agenda". Even as a medical professional, I find the images of a dead fetus disturbing. Especially when I'm returning home on a Sunday morning from getting a newspaper and a cup of coffee...seriously, did I really need to see an enlarged picture of a dead fetus with "Babies Killed Here" on a picket sign in front of my local hospital? This is about COMMON SENSE. It's a good read too, I think Thomas Paine had a good start...

As I hinted at in my Separate but Equal post in June, it is my firm belief that Brown v Board's decision has been reversed, and that separate, in the minds of the religious right, is indeed equal. This has become an argument that will inevitably become a David vs Goliath affair (pun intended). We have failed to love our fellow man, our fellow man is "not created equal", and we sure as hell don't seem to have unalienable rights.

Yes, this may be a bit liberal for many of you to stomach, and frankly, I welcome commentary on this. I ask for CIVILITY and MATURITY. Calling someone a "fuckhead" because they don't think the same way you do will not be tolerated.

So, everyone, what's the next step? Is this one step forward, or two steps back? Will equality or religiosity reign?

Change...a hell of a lot harder than I thought...

2009-07-07T02:09:00.002-04:00

Contrary to popular belief, this has nothing to do with the Obama Administration. This is yet another personal series of thoughts.

OK, I get that the economy sucks. I get that I'm frustrated in a lot of aspects of life, but seriously? When is it going to change? Outside of not doing anything about it, there's isn't a whole lot of things I haven't tried in order to alleviate certain situations in my life.

Job: Let me be totally honest. I enjoy about 75% of the people I work with. I dislike working way too much. Yes, I know you're going to tell me to stop working so much. I like knowing that I have a stable job. I dislike the lack of intellectual challenge and debate. It's as if I'm a robot, and I'm really not liking this.

Love: Yeah, right...like that's ever going to happen. I'm excited for the wedding I'm going to this weekend, but not excited to be a single guy at said wedding. More could be said, but I'm not getting too personal here...

I think I have a nice laundry list of things I'd like to vent here, but in the interest of not having it come back and bite me in the ass later, I'll stop here.

Sigh.

Yes I've turned off comments on this one. Not looking for input, just looking to semi-vent.

Death Penalty

2009-06-02T21:22:00.002-04:00

Thanks to Brandon for this topic.

Gandhi once said "An eye for an eye and everyone is blind." As we look at the death penalty, we see a form of vengeance for particularly heinous crimes committed against others in our society.

Please don't think I am pacifistic in any sense, I believe that we should fight for what we believe in. However, I do question the legitimacy of having a criminal sanction that ends the life of another human being. Some would argue, that it is being used as a deterrent to outrageous criminal behavior. Which, some studies have clearly shown to be effective. Yet, we do this to what end?

I know that if someone were to murder my mother or my niece, I'm sure my gut instinct would be to see revenge, seek for them to be murdered as well. Lets face it, lethal injection (the preferred method) is basically a painless medical procedure, just like putting an animal to sleep. I would probably want the most painful thing to happen to them, just to atone for the horror they've added to my life. Then I think, what good does that do? I would sit here and suffer knowing that someone that close to me was murdered in cold blood. In a sadistic sense, they should sit in prison and think about what they did for the rest of their lives. Live through the days of no meaning, and live with the guilt that they took the life of another human being.

This is clearly a contentious subject, no less than that of abortion and gay marriage, but I think it's important to open a dialogue to a greater understanding of views. We must agree to disagree on some senses, and most political and religious based thoughts will end up that way.

Thoughts?

M

Just Live Your Life...

2009-05-31T13:14:00.001-04:00

Rapper TI made this phrase famous with his song "Live Your Life," American Eagle uses it as a slogan, St Francis DeSales (paraphrased) and Dr Seuss (paraphrased), have all said similar things. But what does this mean? Life your life?

I believe in destiny, and that we are the masters of our own destiny. We must take the challenges that life gives us and get through them the best as we possibly can. Earlier in the weekend, I sat down and had my tarot cards read, yes I know, what are some cards going to tell me about my life? It was incredibly unnerving that these cards and the person reading them could really get to the core of my being. Telling me things about me that only I know. From putting up barriers, to spiritual beliefs, ending up with things that I can't even begin to put words to. This 10 minute exercise cut through every wall I've put up and opened me up to a vulnerability that I can only describe as invigorating.

This being said, I've pondered on some of the things that I heard last night, and have made some resolutions. First and foremost, to quote Shakespeare's "Hamlet," "This above all, to thine own self be true." It's time to start living my life the way I choose, doing the things I want to do and for the reasons I want. I can no longer sit around and face mid-life crisis time realizing that there is too much to life to be hiding behind self constructed barriers.

Secondly, it's time to stop putting conditions on things, specifically related to relationships. I have always said, I would never date, or enter a relationship with someone that I considered to be a close friend. Why? Pretty simple, in my logical mind, I never wanted to jeopardize my standing with a friend. True friends are hard to come by, but even harder is true love. Previously self inflicted rules of dating, are now completely off the table. Whatever happens, happens, and if it doesn't work out, I would hope that the strength of friendships can overcome any potential love related wounds.

Third on the agenda, Work. The best part of my job without a doubt in my mind are the people that I work with. We've all heard of the phrase "work friends" and to a point this is true. People that we work with are at times, people that we socialize with at work, but have no real relationship or common interests outside of our employer's realm. I love the people that I work with, many of them I've known for years, and they really do transcend the "work friend" stigma, but it's time for a change. I went to Millersville with the intent on teaching High School History classes, and obviously that changed. I now have a Bachelors' Degree in History, that I really don't use in any occupational senses. That bothers me, a lot. I spent so many years working towards this degree, and to not use it really is a crime. It's time to focus on me and start using this degree, clearly, I have SOME intelligence and need to channel that towards making a difference in the world.

Finally, I need to start being more open. I wonder how many amazing people I've let slip out of my life due to the barriers that I've put up. For those of you that know me well and are reading this, you know how true this is. You've obviously passed the "Matt Test", as my dear friend Tammy calls it. It's time to start living day by day and to start letting people in. Who knows what else is out there for me...

So, its time to, in the words of TI f Rihanna, "Just live your life..."

As a footnote, you probably realize how incredibly open this is for me, and I welcome comments and other thoughts...to a point. You probably know the lines that are never to be crossed...

M

Health Care Costs

2009-05-29T06:46:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, I brought lunch to my mother and the doctor she works for. We got to talking, and the physician she works for is part of a focus group on Health Care Costs sometime early next week. We started talking, related to the costs of health care in America, and a few shining points came out.

First, the costs of health care, particularly in Southeastern PA, have skyrocketed, coinciding with the increasing number of medical malpractice lawsuits. As we have become an increasingly litigious society, physicians are now using expensive testing to rule out potential maladies opposed to confirming possibilities. Does everyone with non specific chest pain need Cardiac Enzymes? Does everyone that falls down need a CT of their head? No. But, due to lawsuits, we have seen these tests increase as a way to prevent a potential malpractice suit. And we wonder why we have skyrocketing costs.

Secondly, uninsured and underinsured persons. With the rate of unemployment starting to rise, we have seen the ability of citizens to pay for COBRA Insurance decrease just as rapidly. When faced with a choice of putting food on the table or paying for insurance that MAY not be needed, many people are obviously choosing the former. When something does happen, we are seeing a substantial number of visits to emergency rooms, where providers are obligated to provide care, irregardless of your ability to pay. With no job, and no insurance, obviously, the ability to pay for the services rendered are inherently decreased. These costs are then passed onto the insured, and those with the ability to pay to make up for any losses therein.

Finally, lack of preventative medicine. I am part of this problem. Think about it, when was the last time you went to your physician for a "well-adult" visit? Nothing is wrong, just going for a checkup. Granted, I go to the doctor when I'm sick or absolutely have to. With a family history of diabetes and hypertension, I should be going to see my doctor much more often, in order to prescreen for these conditions, and ensure that I can slow the development of such ailments. I don't, and of course, when the time comes, I'm going to be subjected to a litany of tests and examinations, probably referred to a specialist of 2...all of which are costly, and could have been prevented.

Now, the argument of socialized medicine won't even be broached here, I think I could probably write a book on it...

Any other thoughts?

M

55 years, and Seperate but Equal still reigns...

2009-05-28T05:01:00.000-04:00

55 years ago, Chief Justice Earl Warren delivered the unanimous opinion in the landmark Brown v. Board of Education case for the United States Supreme Court. The challenge to Kansas State Law was mounted in response to school segregation. The basic gist, for those not familiar with the case, was that African American children could be schooled at all black schools, with no need to integrate African American children with white children in public schools.

This was of course stricken by the Court, citing the 14th Amendment's Equal Protection Clause. As Warren wrote

"We conclude that in the field of public education the doctrine of "separate but equal" has no place. Separate educational facilities are inherently unequal. Therefore, we hold that the plaintiffs and others similarly situated for whom the actions have been brought are, by reason of the segregation complained of, deprived of the equal protection of the laws guaranteed by the Fourteenth Amendment." (Brown v Board Opinion, p 495)

Now, why would this matter today?, the schools are no longer segregated, public education has been multi racial since that point in time. The question here comes under the 14th Amendment, as related to the California Supreme Court's recent decision, rendering Proposition 8 legal and binding. For those living under a rock, Proposition 8 sought to ban gay marriage in the State of California, which was approved with a 52-47% vote by the voters in California. Legal challenges were mounted, and eventually Prop 8 was affirmed. The interesting clause in the Prop 8 decision from the California State Supreme Court, was that all previously administered same sex marriages were allowed to stand as valid.

Why? Now, logically, and legally speaking, the 14th amendment provides that "no state shall ... deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws." Doesn't this clearly violate that provision of the Constitution? Going further, marriage and civil union; as the Warren Court declared "separate is not equal," how does this stand? Granted, no major court challenges have been mounted against this, as I am sure there will be here, but alas, I wonder, what will come of this in the Federal Courts? I have no doubt in my mind that with makeup of the current US Supreme Court, this challenge would be another highly contentious 5-4 split vote banning the practice.

It's been 55 years since Brown v Board of Education, where separate but equal does not exist. Will it reign true today? The moral and racially motivated challenges then, are no less bigoted than the theologically motivated challenges of today. It's going to be an interesting event to watch...hope I get front row seats...

Note: Feel free to comment, even argue, but leave the bashing and bs behind. This is meant to be a thought provoking piece, not a battleground...

M