Living to Live.

Again, I come back when the mood generally strikes me.

This afternoon, I played the dutiful and good son and drove my mother around because she wanted to go shopping. In the car ride, we had a conversation about growing up. My brother turns 30 in about a week, which, in some ways really scares me. He's married, has a beautiful daughter (that is my world too), and seems to really have his shit together. With Patrick's imminent departure to 30, I started to analyze my life yet again.

While I was thinking about this, I sat and read a blog that I follow from a guy that's really garnered acceptance with who he is, and is trying to be the best person that he can be, in light of a litany of issues. From depression, acceptance, and really loving himself for who he is. Regardless of his self esteem issues, its amazing to read his story every so often, and realize that life isn't just about finding the right person to share your life with, making tons of money, etc. It comes down to being yourself, and loving who you are. From there, the sky seems to be the limit. Sean, if you read this, thank you. You may not believe it, but you are an inspiration to a lot pf people out there. Keep doing what you do and you'll find the happiness and understanding which you are seeking.

The last few weeks, I've been a busy guy, from the Fair, and all kinds of other little projects running around, but I've actually been having fun. Living life for me, isn't so bad. Its amazing that a positive mind set, and doing it because you want to, not because you have to makes all the difference in the world.

Busy weekend ahead, PHL at 0615 for a pickup of a great friend, drinks tomorrow night with some old friends, brunch with the family on Sunday, then some meetings. All in all, life is good.

Til the next time something comes to mind...

anddddddddd I'm out.

--Matt

Some day, when my life has passed me by...

So, I've decided to come back to my blog, after another lovely year away. Lots has changed in the past year, but as usual, much has remained the same.

I'm still working in the same place, despising getting up every morning to go into the office and deal with the same bs. Still volunteering at the same places, doing the same stuff. In most...check that, all aspects of my life, things are still the exact same as they were, save the fact that I'm a year older.

I've had some great experiences in interviewing for some fantastic job opportunities. I'm very thankful to know that my qualifications and skills (at least on paper) were enough to get an interview, but again, not good enough for the job.

My friends keep telling me to leave where I'm at, and lets face it, I'd love to. I just can't make a blind leap of faith without some plan of where I am headed. I really do need to make some change in my life, and I just don't know where to begin. I keep racking my brain of placed to apply, to get out of my biggest stressor, and I keep falling flat on my face.

I've even had multiple friends and acquaintances recommend me for position, and that got me an interview, yet I continually question, if I am cut out for anything in this world. I feel as if I'm a jack of all trades, master of none; in this world, it seems that you need to be a master of something in order to move forward develop in your career.

Sigh. Any suggestions? I've got a useless BA in History, and I need to do SOMETHING...