Holidays

Prethought: I know, its been a while. Deal with it.. “It’s been a Long December, and there’s reason to believe, maybe this year will be better than the last…”—Counting Crows, “A Long December” At some point in my life, I started to hate Christmas. Not entirely certain of the reasons, maybe I haven’t quite figured it out in my mind. Did I lose this proverbial sense of Christmas Joy when I no longer was a kid? When my brother got married and moved away? Maybe it was when I graduated from college, and “became a man”. It could be for any of those reasons, and many many more. In fact, I’m still trying to figure that out. Late last week, before my parents, brother, sister in law and niece all left for Disney, I wound up having a long talk with my mom about Christmas. Every year, I argue with her to not waste her money on me, to spend it on Natalie (my niece), or spoil herself. In all reality, there’s nothing that I really want or need that money can buy. Nothing that she, or anyone else can go to a store to purchase, or order from a catalog that I could ever want. Sure, I’m an independent person, and if there’s something that I need or want, I just go get it. Mom said a few things that really started to click, that in a lot of ways, I’m just like my father and my Aunt Betty. Every year, for birthdays, Christmas, etc, my dad always says, it’s just another day. And I have to agree. It is, it’s another reminder to me of being rich in goods and poor in spirit. Now, don’t take that anywhere near religion, because anyone that knows me well, knows that religion and I do NOT get along…at all. It’s another year of growing older without the best things in life. So I really sat down this week and tried to think of WHY I dislike Christmas. And, I came up with 3 main reasons. 1. Commercialization. Seriously, when it isn’t even Thanksgiving and I walk into a store and they’re already selling Christmas stuff, I have to seriously wonder, what the point is. Is it to boost some capitalistic, profiteering company’s stocks? What happened to the Holidays being about being with the people that you care about and really just enjoying their company. A few gifts, fine. Small, sentimental things. Perhaps things that you want, but wouldn’t buy for yourself. That makes sense. This nicely segways into my next point…Family. 2. Family. I have a great immediate family. I’m blessed to have both my parents still with me, a brother and sister in law, and an absolutely adorable niece, who absolutely lights up my day anytime I see her. Isn’t that what this is about? Dad comes from a pretty large family, lots of brother and sisters, lots of grandchildren and a gaggle of great-grandchildren. When do we really see each other? When do we really talk to each other? Weddings, Funerals, and occasional holidays, perhaps some idle chatter on Facebook. We all dress casually, meet somewhere, and pretend for a little sliver of holiday justice that we actually give a shit about each other. But, do we really? Or are we so entrapped in our own lives, careers, immediate families and minds that we really forget about the purpose and reality of family? I wish I had an answer, I wish I knew the secret to making things all better, at making things just. Sadly, I don’t. 3. Religion. Many of my friends and family are the very religious type. I’m not. Period. I consider myself an agnostic recovering Catholic. It took me 20 years of life to discover that religion wasn’t for me, and it’s probably going to take me another 20 years to undo the intellectual damage Catholicism did to me haha. Regardless, Christmas, is a religious holiday, steeped from the “birth of Jesus Christ”, but I won’t get into the Historical Innacuracies… Since I’m not a fan of religion, it would make sense that Religious Holidays aren’t realy my forte, maybe I’ll figure it out, someday. I guess I’m starting to see the reasons, to understand why I simply put on a happy face each year around my niece and the family, and pretend for a few short hours that all is well In the world, and that I don’t feel like a hypocritical bastard. It’s something I need to work on, maybe to figure out, it’ll take a whole, results not guaranteed. Either way, Happy Holidays to all my friends and family out there.